Prick cars

Pricks and idiots drive cars, just like the rest of us. Some pricks and idiots drive normal, everyday cars. Some pricks and idiots drive prick cars. Some cars automatically make people pricks and idiots, and here's the list:


Land Rover / Range Rover
Anybody who's read a quality survey of new cars knows that Land Rovers and Range Rovers are consistently at the bottom of the list in quality. Like every year. Seriously. "Hey, I just took my Discovery into the dealer for the third time this week. I rule." No, you don't.


Cadillac Escalade
Not cool. Any GM product with that much fake wood and chrome is like a fly strip for poseurs.


Nissan Altima
You may think I've made a mistake, but just pay a little extra attention to these guys next time you see one. Something about this car makes people turn evil.


Mercedes-Benz S-Class
The only people that can drive this car and not look like pricks must be at least 67 years old.


Hummer H2
Seriously, the people who buy these things must know that people will key them for it.


Jeep Wrangler (with large rims)
I like Wranglers a lot, but they should make you sign something before you're allowed to buy it promising that you won't put on rims larger than 16 or 17 inches. The closest thing to off-roading that these Jeeps experience is driving through the slush that the snowplow left at the end of the driveway.


Chevrolet Corvette
$47,000 will buy you a much faster, better-quality, better-looking, and slower-depreciating car than this. The interiors of these things have more low-quality plastic than a Chinese army figurine factory. Plus the guys that usually drive these look like Rush Limbaugh.

I'm probably going to add to this list as the Car Gods so inspire me, so check back regularly.