Health diagnosis

I'm afraid I have some bad news. I have been diagnosed with a syndrome called Paruresis. According to the International Paruresis Association, it's a condition that affects 7% of Americans, or 17 million people. Its severity can range from mild to severely debilitating, and apparently I am in the moderate stages of it.



It is quite likely that this disorder will affect me for the rest of my life, although there is a chance that its severity will decrease and disappear with time. I know you're asking yourself, "What can I do to help?" Here are a few suggestions:

(1) Don't talk loudly as you walk into public restrooms.
(2) Don't make sudden movements behind people who are using the urinals.
(3) Don't sit around and talk with others after washing your hands. Just finish your business and get out.
(4) Avoid grunting and heavy breathing while in the stalls.
(5) Make a donation to the International Paruresis Association.

In following these suggestions you will help others with this debilitating disorder.