Jan 17, 2010

Welcome to the machine

I have been informed that I do certain things automatically. That's right, like a machine.



- If it's even slightly cold outside, I put my mouth into an "o" shape and exhale heavily so I can see my breath. Even if it's not cold enough to see my breath, I still do it.

- Whenever birthday candles are blown out, I swat at the smoke. Like every time. My brother pointed this out to me on his birthday. I realized it's because I have a huge fear of the smoke detector going off. I remember it happening when I was younger and the beeping...no, screeching...of that damn detector would terrify me.  It seemed to always happen on Saturday mornings when someone was making toast.

- I fart whenever I walk out of buildings. Sometimes for minutes at a time.

- I talk in my sleep.  My trusty wife informs me every morning of what I said during the night.  Here are a few choice phrases and happenings from the last month:  (1)  "You can take off my pants whenever you want."  (2)  "Which direction are we facing?"  (3)  "I am so tired of the whining."  (4)  I briefly giggle several times.

1 comment:

robocop said...

I never knew about the third one, but I guess it doesn't surprise me. And yes, I think I will undo your pants whenever I want.