Dec 17, 2010

Ferret people

What's the difference between a ferret and a rat?  Absolutely nothing.  They're rodents, they'll bite you, they poop everywhere, and they're both kept as pets by people living in trailer parks.  Excuse me, "mobile estates".  Come to think of it, there is a big difference between the two:  Ferrets are shaped like sausages, as you can see in Figure 1 below.

Figure 1
Did you notice something unusual in Figure 1?  You'd be correct if you noticed that these ferrets' owner actually has wood floors in his/her trailer...excuse home.

I once caught myself watching a PBS documentary about ferret people, where I learned the horrid, horrid ferret song.  Congratulations, that will be stuck in your head for the rest of the day.  Use this song to get it out.

Ferrets are not better than dogs.  Ferrets are not better than cats.  Ferrets are slightly better than birds (sorry, Brett and Tara, but it's true).  According to one study, 99.9% of people would rather have an STD than a ferret.  The other 0.1% of people actually have both a ferret and an STD, which they contracted from their ferret.

Dec 6, 2010

Christmas creep

Seeing as it's December, we have been listening to quite a bit of Christmas music (upon Redd's insistence). Of course, no matter what station/mix you listen to, there are only so many Christmas songs in existence, so there are bound to be repeats. Lots of repeats. Just by different artists. One stands out in particular, not because of it's catchy tune or it's holiday cheer factor, but because it is just plain creepy. It doesn't matter if it's Dean Martin or Jessica Simpson...creepy. Here's an excerpt: 

Baby It's Cold Outside

The neighbors might think - Baby, it's bad out there
Say, what's in this drink - No cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how - Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell - I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell
I ought to say no, no, no, sir - Mind if I move a little closer
At least I'm gonna say that I tried - What's the sense in hurting my pride
I really can't stay - Baby don't hold out
Ahh, but it's cold outside
What's in this drink? Wha? It sounds like a play by play of a date rape if you ask me. I think I'll stick with Ava Maria.