Dec 17, 2010

Ferret people

What's the difference between a ferret and a rat?  Absolutely nothing.  They're rodents, they'll bite you, they poop everywhere, and they're both kept as pets by people living in trailer parks.  Excuse me, "mobile estates".  Come to think of it, there is a big difference between the two:  Ferrets are shaped like sausages, as you can see in Figure 1 below.

Figure 1
Did you notice something unusual in Figure 1?  You'd be correct if you noticed that these ferrets' owner actually has wood floors in his/her trailer...excuse me...mobile home.

I once caught myself watching a PBS documentary about ferret people, where I learned the horrid, horrid ferret song.  Congratulations, that will be stuck in your head for the rest of the day.  Use this song to get it out.

Ferrets are not better than dogs.  Ferrets are not better than cats.  Ferrets are slightly better than birds (sorry, Brett and Tara, but it's true).  According to one study, 99.9% of people would rather have an STD than a ferret.  The other 0.1% of people actually have both a ferret and an STD, which they contracted from their ferret.

3 comments:

Krankenheim said...

What's the difference between a ferret and a rat? Absolutely everything. Ferrets are not rodents, they're carnivores. They only bite people who handle them rough, they actually don't poop everywhere, and they're not owned exclusively by folks living in trailers. People who can't even afford a decent home certainly cannot afford to care for a ferret. Get your facts straight, idiot.

Ferrets ARE better than dogs. Ferrets ARE better than cats. Ferrets ARE better than birds.

People do not contract STD's from ferrets, however, they can catch the common cold or seasonal flu. Thus, ferrets are used to test flu shots. Did you get your flu shot this year? Millions of people did and they can thank a FERRET for that.

Jessica said...

I accidentally caught that very same documentary today and this post has my husband and I cracking up! Thanks for the laugh!

Squirrelman said...

Well said, Krankenheim.

Ferrets are not rodents, any more than a lion is an antelope. My ferret killed at least 4 rats, and they are better rodent hunters than cats.