My name will live on

The boy was born today and will get his own blog so that all the filth and unholiness of my personal blog doesn't taint him.  His blog is ivinskida.blogspot.com, and bonus points go to those who caught the Radiohead reference.

Welcome to the machine

I have been informed that I do certain things automatically. That's right, like a machine.

- If it's even slightly cold outside, I put my mouth into an "o" shape and exhale heavily so I can see my breath. Even if it's not cold enough to see my breath, I still do it.

- Whenever birthday candles are blown out, I swat at the smoke. Like every time. My brother pointed this out to me on his birthday. I realized it's because I have a huge fear of the smoke detector going off. I remember it happening when I was younger and the beeping...no, screeching...of that damn detector would terrify me.  It seemed to always happen on Saturday mornings when someone was making toast.

- I fart whenever I walk out of buildings. Sometimes for minutes at a time.

- I talk in my sleep.  My trusty wife informs me every morning of what I said during the night.  Here are a few choice phrases and happenings from the last month:  (1)  "You can take off my pants whenever you want."  (2)  "Which direction are we facing?"  (3)  "I am so tired of the whining."  (4)  I briefly giggle several times.