Magic gloves

I was thinking about doing a Radio From Hell-style "list of things that must go", but then I realized nearly every post I do could be considered an item on that list. So I won't do one. Just read all my posts (please).

Whatever. Anyway, that's not what this post is about. So as you know (or don't know, I don't care), we've been doing a lot of renovating on our new old condo, so we've purchased a lot of new light fixtures, paint, immigrant laborers, and furniture. For some reason, two of the new light fixtures we bought came with these:



That's right: Freakin' Michael Jackson's freakin' magic gloves. Although they are a little small for my huge, hairy, calloused man hands, that doesn't diminish their magical powers. With these babies on I can paint twice as fast, rewire a light without electrocuting myself, and heal sick animals with a single touch. Okay, not really. I just can't make myself throw them away. I mean jeez, when will I ever get undersized gloves included with a new light again? It's like finding my lost wedding ring in a box of cereal - it just doesn't happen often, or at all.

By the way, I hope the Cuban housekeeper who found my ring and then lied about finding it is enjoying it.