Feb 19, 2010

Local news, part 2

I've said before how much I hate local news, no matter where "local" is to you.  But local Utah news is something else.  It's the annoying little brother of local news, constantly trying to get everyone's attention with it's "look at me" stories.

Any national or world news that has even the tiniest, most insignificant detail relating to Utah instantly gets picked up by the local news channels, who then flaunt the story as though Utah invented it.  A national serial killer once used a 7-Eleven bathroom in Vernal.  Jim Morrison once shot up with a guy from Sandy.  I'm surprised that the local news didn't pick up on the whole Vancouver olympics ice-resurfacer fiasco, because guess where the heroic Zamboni machine's creator was born?

Feb 11, 2010


I love Costco.

Especially their pizza.  Oh, and their hot dogs, because you get a free drink with them.  But it does have it's drawbacks.  To name a few:

- Cart grazing:  There are carts everywhere in the parking lot.  At the Costco in Bountiful, where I go, the rich retards that frequent it are seriously so lazy that they can't walk an extra 20 feet to put their carts in the cart return, so they leave them everywhere.  Then other retards see random carts laying around and add their own carts, creating several large groups of carts that block parking spaces.

- The stop and chat:  Oh my gosh, what a surprise to see your neighbor in your local Costco!  You should go talk to them for at least an hour, and please make sure that you park your carts across the main, busiest aisle while you do it.

- Super sample Saturdays:  Nothing causes retards to congregate and graze faster than free, tiny food samples.  This also promotes the stop and chat phenomenon.

- Strolling pace:  At any other store, people move at a normal pace because they know what they want, they pick it up, buy it, and leave.  But next time you're at Costco, stop and observe (with your cart out of the way) how slow people walk.  They seriously stroll like they're on the freaking beach.

And here are some observations:

- For some reason, old people go crazy for those whole roasted chickens.

- All the bad things about Costco go away on Sunday, because all the Mormons are at church.  There's hardly anyone there, people that are there walk at a normal pace, and there aren't free food samples or a billion wayward carts clogging the aisles.

- When you do go on Sunday, you will see a few people still in their church clothes.  I at least change out of my church clothes before I break the sabbath.